Thursday, February 26, 2009

Our Birth Story

This was my last belly picture. 3 days before Charlotte's debut.

This is going to be long! I am mostly writing it for myself so I don't forget the details sometime down the road. And per request of Hilla.. you had no idea what you were getting yourself into : ) If you choose to read this, WARNING: I lost my freakin' mind!

I had lost my car keys and blamed it on preggy-brain. Jake goes to work before me and gets off after me so I was just going to drop him off and pick him back up using his car. Brilliant. On the way he made me laugh pretty hard and I thought that I had peed my pants a little bit, sadly this was perfectly normal for me : ) When we got to the shop I hopped out of the car and felt the first big guuuush. Woah! "Jake get back in the car, we're going to the hospital!" He ran inside to grab a towel. It was cold outside and my crotch was steaming, amniotic fluid streamed into my boots... I was secretly hoping that this was just me peeing myself, ha! Sweet Jakey put the towel down and helped me back into the car. It should be noted that he was really great though the whole ordeal and I got pretty mean towards him... oops, sorry Babe!

Anywho, we decided to stop by our house and get some hospital goodies put together. Early-Birdie definitely caught us off guard! Got out of the car and gushed again. I had to laugh when I found and used the tiniest panty-liner known to man. Back in the car and off to St. Luke's... approximately a 2 minute drive from our house. I waddled in, leaving a trail behind me and reached the info desk where 3 dumbasses sat and couldn't tell us where to go. Grrrr! Get to where we need to be and start the checking-in process, I informed Girlie behind the desk that I was leaking all over the carpet and that seemed to speed things up :) We were admitted right away and told that if my water had broken the day before (putting me at 33weeks, 6days) they would have tried to hold off labor but that 34 weeks is the magic date they let you labor and that babies born then generally do very well. I was still worried! I just wished that she would have waited a couple more weeks or even days. The doctor that was on staff said that she wanted Charlotte out within 16 hours (my doc, of course, was on vacation) Doc also said that that if I did not progress on my own that they would want to induce. Ugh. I had planned on a drug free birth and pitocin was my nightmare! Thankfully my body did what it needed to do and I progressed quickly!

I spent my time in the tub and on the birth ball until I felt like all I could do was moan on the floor.. mellow dramatic, I know, but it just gets worse from here : ) This was about the time that our doula arrived. I heart her and am so glad she was there but not even she was taking the pain away. I wanted an epidural. I felt a little guilty straying away from "the plan", never mind, F the plan, I want my epi! After verbally assaulting the anesthesiologist I realized that he was a new best friend. Ahhh, that really took the edge off. I could definitely still feel. I could move my legs and even squat. (There's a pretty image!...ha) My progress slowed down dramatically and I accepted some pitocin to get things movin' again. Woah, from then on it seemed like I was having one big contraction .. a point that I made sure everyone in the birthing room knew. Push, curse, rest, curse, push, rest, curse, push, push, push... welcome beautiful, tiny Charlotte ReeAnn. *sigh* AMAZING! She was immediately placed on my chest and I remember asking her, "Shouldn't you be crying? Why aren't you crying?" She was perfect and doing really well but a team from the NICU needed to check her out. Sweet Charly went with them, Proud Daddy went with Charly and Exhausted Mommy stayed to recover. After dealing with all the fun of after-birth I got to see my mom and the rest of my family and friends who had waited patiently for Charlotte to arrive. I also ate the best tasting sandwich of my life and I don't even like sandwiches! After about 2 hours I was finally wheeled down to the NICU to see the sweet new Daddy and to hold my beautiful girl. *sigh* LIFE IS GOOD!

Charlotte came out sunny-side-up. Instead of her facing my spine like the ideal birthing scenario she was facing my tummy. Babies have a couple of different reflexes while being born and because she was backwards her reflexes were working against us! This explains a lot of the pressure I was feeling and where I was feeling it. Yowza!

I told you that I lost my mind... here's the proof! Quotes from labor and delivery:

All I want to do is take a sh!t, eat dinner and have a bath."
"I'm done!"
"Get the F out of my face."
"I am going to barf and then I am going to smack you."
"If you can't keep a straight face get the F out of this room." Apparently this was all funny to Jake. It was okay to me that my doc (who came in from vacation!) and doula were both laughing at my antics just not him.
At one point Jake asked me to take a drink of water, I told him that I couldn't but before I knew it there was a frickin' bendy straw in my face... I blew bubbles in it :) To which my doula says, "Tara if you have enough energy to be a smart-ass you have enough energy to push this baby out."
and my favorite...
During the birthing process I was told to reach down and touch my baby (so I would know how close she was). I refused. I said, "I'll flick her... she is the one person in this room I can't be mean to and I'll flick her." Giggles all around the delivery room and the reassurance that I won't flick my baby. I say, "I just don't want to risk it."

Told you I lost my mind! I'm actually not sure that I have since found it but I did get the most perfect little baby girl :) A simple trade and well worth every minute of pregnancy, labor and delivery!


hilla said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
hilla said...

Awesome! I love it! Good husbands just grin and bare the abuse. :) She is perfect. How long was it all in all? And- are you going to try natural again?
I made it 13 hours of hard labor w/o the drugs, but was still only 1cm...enter pitocin...enter epidural...enter little Amaya-22hours later! i know the stray from the birth plan guilt. :)
Didn't even bother trying natural w/Kbear, since I had to do pitocin again, but lil Kendal was here a mere 8 hours total!
So with that in mind, I think I may try natural with number 3. But I'll never feel guilty for leaving the birth plan again!
Did Jake use the relaxation poems/mantra things?
Thanks for sharing!

Jake and Tara said...

Will you get this here? Aspects of blogging are still a mystery! Is FB a better way to respond?
You had a 35 hour labor?! Yow! I am impressed by how long you went without help! I am definetly planning on trying au naturel with number two. I really think the hypno stuff helped... I was just half way through the class when it all happened. Our hospital room was nice and quiet, lights dimmed, relaxing music and Jake did read the scripts, stud! You can use my hypno material for your third if you want to!

Jake and Tara said...

Oh, my water broke around 9am and she was here at 11:20pm.

Mrs. D Lightful said...

What a sweet little baby! That tutu by the way is to DIE for! I have 2 little come I didn't think of that when they were newborns? Cute story!

Gretchen said...

Tara, I LOVED your story. You are hilarious. It's a pretty amazing experience huh? I did hypnobirthing with Carter and it was awesome. You could totally do it.

Schwab Family said...

I haven't told you how much I enjoy your blog.You are so creative!I have fun reading your posts. What a cute little family!

paula said...

You don't know me...I found your blog through Tip Junkie and I just have to tell you.... This post had me laughing out loud. HILARIOUS!